[cchoy]

I have a 19 year old son. He is dating a 17 year old girl. We don`t allow her to spend the night. Well he doesn`t understand why not. Yes he is an adult but she is a minor. As a parent I can not allow this. I really don`t mind if he has a girlfriend his age spend the night with him. I know a lot of you will disagree but he will just find somewhere else to spend the night with her. It doesn`t bother me or my husband if they are both adults.

[craftymama]

I think you should sit him down and explain that if those girls' parents decided to pursue it because she is a minor he could be charged with statutory rape, something that would follow him the rest of his life. Just tell him as soon as she is 18 things will change.

[BeesWax]

If they really love each other they will wait until she turns 18. It's not the end of the world if they can't spend the night together. You just have to be prepared to be a grandparent if they do do something and are not being careful.

[alygirl]

I don't blame you for not letting her spend the night. I hope your son is well aware of the consequences if they get caught together.

[Stephanie13]

Originally Posted by craftymama

I think you should sit him down and explain that if those girls' parents decided to pursue it because she is a minor he could be charged with statutory rape, something that would follow him the rest of his life. Just tell him as soon as she is 18 things will change.

I have a friend who is now in his late 30s, but when he was 20 he was dating a minor. To make a long story short, he is now a registered sex offender because of the stink her parents made about it. Funny enough, the girl waited for him while he was in jail because of her and they ended up getting married when he got out, but that doesn't change his status today.

Cchoy is right and kids will find a way to be together if that is their goal, but it's just not worth the risk to his future. If they could wait just a little longer they'll be home free - with the law and the sleepovers.

[homeworker]

That was a good example you posted, Stephanie. I agree with craftymama that you should sit down with him and explain the consequences to him. That it would be more worth it if they should wait.

[gardener]

Wow! You just never know what parents will do. They don't like the boyfriend and they will press charges. I wouldn't let her spend the night either. It's a choice he has to make when he isn't at your house.

[packrat]

Yes, I agree that the law is a top reason for her not to spend the night. But also, there has to be some respect for the rules that you, as a parent, have set. Your son lives in your house and needs to follow your rules.

[Bella]

cchoy, I don't disagree with you for allowing the sleepovers once both of them are of legal age. I can't say if I will allow it when my daughter is 18 (she's only 1 now, lol), but it's your home and it's your son and it's your choice. I don't think anyone has the right to tell someone else how to raise their kids.

[Dinky]

I remember that it wasn't until I was living with my fiance that, when returning home for a time (to visit) that I was allowed to have him over with me. I can't disagree with the decision either-I'm not sure where I will stand once my kids are old enough.