Stay at Home Moms: How to Know When to Stay Home with Your Children


Whether you’re a first time mom, or a mom to five or more children, it doesn’t get any easier to leave them in the hands of someone else, at daycare.  Does the thought of your children being in daycare make you sad, or cause feelings of postpartum depression?  Well, sure we all feel this way in the postpartum stages that follow, but what about when it doesn’t go away?  When do you decide to stay at home with your children, making cut backs in your household to ensure your happiness?

Is it a selfish thing to want to stay home with your children, and your family?  No.  Sure, I felt this way, too but the truth is it’s absolutely normal to yearn to be with your children.  It’s our job as mom’s to protect our children, because after all, who else will?  Not only is it the principle that we want to raise our children, but also the fact that daycare is expensive, especially when you have more than one child.

Now, is it more the fact that we would like to think that as mom’s we are raising our children, and not a daycare provider?  Absolutely, but more so, it’s that we don’t want to miss out on the day to day things that they experience while at daycare.  Sure, the little gestures such as a wave bye-bye might not mean much to his daycare provider, but it means the world to his mom!  Realizing that when you pick him up for daycare, how much he has learned just in that day alone, might actually make you a little envious.  That’s right, envious of the time he spends at daycare, with his daycare provider.  This, only increasing your feelings of postpartum depression.

It’s true that in most families, our children will spend more time at daycare than with mom, or dad at home.  It’s so sad, but if you figure the typical family that works generally works a Monday through Friday job, and until 5pm.  It breaks down to mom dropping the children off as early as 8am, and not being seen until 5:30pm.  Now, we would like to think we get home, and get to snuggle with our children, and spend “quality” time together, but picture rushing to get dinner on the table, fit in bath time, and getting the children in bed before 9:00 p.m.  Not so relaxing, right?

So, at what point do you realize that you want to be a stay at home mom, and be with your children?  A true stay at home mom, just the sound of it puts your heart at ease, doesn’t it?  Well, always discuss your feeling with your husband, and be sure you are on the same page.  It might be that your husband understands, and agrees with you wanting to be a stay at home mom.  In some cases, men actually would prefer for their wife to be at home, raising their children.  This creates a sort of ego for the husband in the family, becoming the sole bread winner, and really being able to take care of his family.  Not in all families, however will your husband agree with your decision.  There are many things to take into consideration when determining whether or not you can afford to be a stay at home mom for your children.   A huge determining factor is money.  Will your family be able to live off of your household’s income, without your contribution?  Will you be willing to make the cut backs needed, and give up some of your household’s luxuries that you may be accustom to?

Being a stay at home mom is a wonderful thing.  Imagine being able to share the day with your child, going to the park, eating lunches under a shaded tree, or even sharing a middle of the afternoon nap with your child.  Your child is only little once, this is a time you will never get back.  For me, this is what made my decision necessary.  I knew that at home with my son is where my heart was, and where I need to be.  I have never been happier, and I’m so thankful to be a stay at home mom.

This post was written by

jasonjason – who has written posts on Home Tips Plus.
I'm a father of three, married and a home owner since 2006. I've worked in fixing up homes and rental properties.

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